I titled this entry on January 28th. Today is November 11th. I clearly did not do the damn thing. Which is fine life happens and things get put off. But what could I have gained in those several months if I had lived with more purpose? Or did I need time to heal? Shit really does happen and it leaves us tired. Damaged. We need to take time to heal and recharge.
While I do realize that I have been putting off the life I want, making excuses for one thing or another; I can still be kind to myself. I’m getting back into it. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits, to get overwhelmed by stress or distracted by responsibility. Trying to make it through the week turns into months. Looking back, without purpose and intention life too easily becomes a cycle of erosion and repair.
I don’t want that life. I want to find joy in everything, not dread the coming workweek anticipating everything that could go wrong. I want to build a life I love, a life I can be proud of. There’s a lot of self doubt right now. I feel as though I’m on the cusp of creating something meaningful with nothing but obstacles in my way. It could always be worse. As I sit here, a payroll processor trying to build a life of adventure, I know it must be done.
My idea of the life I’m building is ever changing but incorporates a few core themes despite the fluctuation of the vision. Freedom, creativity and adventure. Fitness was my springboard out of my comfort zone and now I want to expand on that confidence by fueling my life with the spirit of adventure. Until I can make my entire life drip and ooze with remarkable experiences everyday, I want to begin doing little things on a day to day basis. Not only to work towards my overall goal of travel adventures but to make a habit of just getting out and doing things that take your breath away. Not to mention, keeping yourself in good shape can help you tackle any adventure that comes your way.I think that self awareness in general is admitting that your goals and desires in life are always going to change so you can’t get hung up on one label or one school of thought. This blog was transitioned from my old fitness blog, ironlizerd. Not that fitness isn’t fantastic, it’s just not the all encompassing factor of my life anymore. The goal I have for my life is to be more based on experience than based on results. I look back at the girl who started trying to blog years ago, so many things have changed. I’m not married anymore, not knee deep in any type of keto and trying to get the hang of a gym routine again. I have grown so much in this time and I’m extremely happy with where I am. My independence, confidence and determination have never been higher. I’m ready to go out and make this world my adventure.